Not serious enough to walk down the aisle, though. As it turns out, he told my BFF that he had no plans to marry again, but rather, he was just happy enjoying the company of this beautiful young woman who liked having him around too. For most of us, the idea of our parents dating is hard. But the concept of them dating someone our age is even harder to fathom. And I get it. She could have been one of our classmates for goodness sake.
And you also have to think about the fact that you never know when a person is actually interested in your parent and when they could just be taking advantage of them. Out of all the fish in the sea, why someone around the age of the child you reared? As my friend shared with me, the young woman encourages her father, who has diabetes, to eat better and cooks for him. She also ensures that he takes whatever medications he needs to on time.
And while it may be hard, so should my friend. No matter how awkward the situation may be.
He's reaching into your age group, thus it feels like he's invading your territory, and it's no wonder it weirds you out. I have heard this same thing from other people in the same situation. For example, my uncle got remarried to a woman who was in the same age group as his kids, and we all just rolled our eyes.
Men have been doing stuff like this since the beginning of time. Look at the celebrity marriages. And at the time, the TCM announcer said, Bogie and Bacall had the same age spread and were married in real life.
Senator Ted Kennedy remarried a woman much younger than he was. I think Donald Trump's wife is a lot younger than he is. I could go on and on. It's a guy thing. It's just that when it's your dad, it's freakin' weird. We can pray that this relationship passes, but your dad really is kind of a mess when it comes to dating, and he's really been breaking a cardinal rule by forcing them on you.
It seems like he may have problems connecting and you're bearing some of the brunt of that. Unfortunately, you apparently got Serial Dater Dad when they were handing out fathers. No wonder it is messing up your ability to have a relationship.
How his girlfriend makes you feel, what you pictured his new relationship would be like. I know my older brother can and probably will move out, and I have offered my couch to him in case he is uncomfortable staying with her. Talk to your mom. Sure, that's now what we call all people so situated, but thinking of her as "your father's wife" is probably far more palatable, as it conjures up none of the authority relationships that might otherwise be there. I was initially happy for her, and excited that she met someone.
You sound like a grounded, sensible person, and you have really good instincts about what is going on, what's right, and what's wrong. This does not have to mess up your future if you don't let it.
My father's new girlfriend is 30 years his junior—she's my age—and it's taught me a lot about dating. How would you feel if your parent started dating someone around your age? It happened to this author's friend and the BFF doesn't know what.
I have great faith that you do not have to live out your life with a lack of trust in men because of the way your dad lives his life. I think counseling would be very helpful to you. Find a counselor that can help you put your relationship with your dad in proper perspective, and who can help you with trust issues so you'll have no trouble forming and keeping relationships with men. It would be really good for you to embark on the counseling now, because you're in prime dating age Also, maybe you can have family counseling WITH your dad present. That could be very helpful to you.
He's really the one who should go into counseling to find out what his problem is regarding dating.
Often guys don't want to get counseling. Well, it's a saying in psychology that usually everyone in the family seeks counseling except the family member who's the source of the problem. So it may be a stretch to get him to seek help, but you go ahead and save yourself. If you can't afford a private counselor, see if there's a women's resource center, or your pastor, or someone.
But I'd love to see you get independent support for yourself, since you're out there floating alone on this one. All the best to you!
The guy that I'm considering is older than her! My dad has 5 kids! She just graduated high school! I know how you feel.
I have been trying to talk him out of it, but if that doesn't work, I'm just not going to be around my dad. He doesn't come around much as it is.. I don't know if that helped, but you're not alone! Tell him that you're upset about it.